Do these thoughts sound familiar? Take the night off. Scroll through social media for a few hours. Eat that chocolate bar- or even two. You’ve earned it. For some students, these notions of self care have become routine after every hard day, because social media projects this type of behavior as healthy. Society has begun to glamorize self-care and market it to teenagers in the form of self-love, turning it into a $450 billion industry according to IRi Research Center.
Self-love, at its best, encourages a person to build up a sense of purpose so they can freely express themselves. According to an article by the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, self-love starts by thinking positive. “Talking to and about yourself with love,” “prioritizing yourself,” and “forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself” can all help cultivate that encouraging mindset. Here at AFHS, that can mean finding different ways to study after getting a bad grade, but celebrating when receiving a good one. It means becoming a well balanced person that knows when to say no to plans with friends or joining one more club. Brain & Behavior also discourages students from comparing themselves to others, saying, “Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves.”
Self-care branches off of self-love, and presents the method to which a person grows to love themselves. That doesn’t necessarily mean face masks and acai breakfast bowls, but it can mean keeping a regular sleep schedule and eating more vegetables. In her article A Seven Step Prescription for Self Love, Dr. Deborah Khoshaba, a clinical psychologist, says, “Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life instead.” In this statement, Khoshaba proves that the romanticized, marketable version of self-care that students see on social media doesn’t encourage lasting wellness. She recommends exercise instead of bubble baths, proper sleep in place of Pinterest boards.
Of course, the occasional candle-lit night of relaxation can be a great way to decompress every once in a while. The point remains, however, that students should not view idealized versions of self care as a sure path to self love. Instead, this goal should be achieved through positive thinking and nourishing the body. Dr. Katrina Mayer, writer and motivational speaker may have said it best: “Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It's sanity.”
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